Pure Bliss

My idea of pure bliss...lying in my hammock yesterday afternoon for a nap while feeling the sun bake my skin. I know it's not good, but I just love that feeling, so I have to indulge every once in awhile. I thought about putting on sun screen, but by that point, I was fully basking in the sun's delights, so I decided to risk any and all pinkness. I did have a hint of pink afterwards, but nothing a little aloe couldn't handle.

Another blissful pleasure this last week has been my daily hot dog for lunch. Ugh...I hate even admitting this, but it is the only thing that sounds good right now! Trust me - I have tried everything! So for now, hot dogs it is until this weird pregnancy fetish subsides.

Finally, another byproduct of the sunny weather means BBQ Bliss! We got to enjoy two barbecues with friends this weekend. Sigh...I love warm weather. Even though my Northwest family thinks I am crazy to love the desert, I don't know how they can stand the rain 90 percent of the time. Living in the desert for this Seattlite transplant is pure bliss.

I love My 2-year-old, I love her not

Reasons I am getting frustrated with my two-year-old:

This morning alone, my cute Natalie,

- Took off her pjs and diaper thinking she was cute. Luckily it was just a wet diaper.
- Dumped almost an entire Sam's Club canister of Oregano onto my counter top.
- Spit milk all over the carpet in her room and her lovey bear. She's not going to be happy when I wash it.
- Unrolled a new roll of toilet paper into the garbage while I was taking a shower.
- Enjoyed dancing in the shower after I was done and got her pants and shirt all wet.
- Decided to rub her hands in the melted butter/sugar mess I had yet to clean up on the counter top after we made cinnamon rolls (This was of course after she kept snatching snippets of dough while I was trying to roll it out!)
- And is making a huge mess of yogurt while I type this. Not looking forward to cleaning that up, but at least I have a pan of cinnamon rolls cooking in the oven to enjoy when I'm done!

Reasons why I absolutely Love my two-year-old:

Just this morning Natalie,

- has cuddled up to me several times
- smiled her oh-so-cute smile that makes me melt every time I see her
- checked my heart with her stethoscope saying, "beep-beep, beep-beep"
- daintily fed her baby bear with a spoon and cup
- and best of all, said "tant-to" without any mommy prompting when I gave her some chocolate chips.

This of course makes up for all the frustrations from the morning.

It Sucks - Finally!

The very old beast

When John and I got married 12 years ago, we needed a vacuum. My parents had recently purchased a new vacuum to replace the old Kirby they bought when they first got married, so they told me I was welcome to their old one. I was thrilled because a) it worked b) it came with cool attachments and c) we didn't have any other options.

We loaded it up in our car with the rest of my junk from Seattle and headed down to Utah after the wedding - with a lovely detour down the Oregon Coast for our honeymoon. The vacuum has been at my side every Saturday on cleaning day and has endured the messes of three little girls. We have taken it in for repair work, continued buying the antique bags and replaced many, many rubber thingies around the front circle do-dad. (I'm sure there's a nice technical term for this, but as I don't speak vacuumeeze, well...this is what you get)

As you have seen in some of my earlier posts, we are doing some major remodeling in our master bedroom and bathroom. This of course consists of mucho demolition pieces strewn about the room and massive amounts of sanding dust coating the carpet. The first few days we pulled out our tried and true 35-year-old Kirby, which meant running over every portion of the carpet about 4 or 5 times to get up every white speck. John gave up and hauled his shop vac from the garage into the room and excitedly showed me how he could get everything cleaned up in one swipe!

We both agreed it was time for a new vacuum. Of course, I worried about how my parents would react since they had entrusted us with their beloved vacuum. I needn't have worried as my dad's first reaction was, "It's about time!"

You'd be impressed with us - rather than researching every possible vacuum out there, checking numerous consumer reports for weeks and weeks to make sure we made the best possible decision, we happened to walk past a row of Dyson's for a good price at Sam's Club, took one glance at each other, and plopped the thing into our cart next to the bread and milk without a second thought. We got home, John set it up, and I promptly put it away without even trying it. Buying a vacuum is not really a fun purchasing item for me, and I figured it had to be better than our old one, so I wasn't even curious how well it worked.

Well, Saturday cleaning day arrived, and I pulled the new beast out, started vacuuming and about hit the floor at my shock of how well it vacuumed and how clean my floor looked. I hadn't seen my carpet look so clean since the carpet cleaner came. John wasn't home, so I wasn't able to share my excitement, but when he came home and took one look at the carpet, he was doubled over in shock as well! Finally - we have a vacuum that actually sucks!!

Happy Mother's Day

I am having a wonderful mother's day with my children. As I type, the girls are busy helping John make dinner for me - clean up included. They made pancakes in the shape of I Love You this morning, I had a wonderful foot massage from Alicia when I got home from church, and several cute craft projects from Kimberly. I love Mother's Day and am so grateful to have three wonderful girls to share it with.

I can't help thinking about another mother two doors down from me who does not have the opportunity of sharing this mother's day with her two year old because she passed away yesterday due to the complications of a tumor in her brain.

I am deeply saddened for her young husband and toddler and spent a restless night thinking about them (and crying at 5 in the morning trying unsuccessfully to keep from waking John). They moved into the ward only 6 months ago, but there is such a wonderful group of ladies on my street that welcomed her right in. We got to know her a little, but she mostly kept to herself because she didn't want to burden the rest of us with her diagnosis she received some time ago. However, in recent months she could keep it hidden no longer, at which point she probably felt comfortable enough in the neighborhood and ward to share her condition.

I guess I am an eternal optimist and felt like she would recover fully. I never imagined that things might end up on such a sad note. The doctors thought her tumor was gone after a successful surgery some time ago. However, a few weeks ago, she started declining very rapidly and on Friday night, was taken by ambulance to the hospital. Saturday morning she learned that her tumor was back and it was causing tremendous pressure in her brain. Before they could operate, they tried to reduce the pressure, but she passed away in the early evening.

I am deeply saddened and of course am playing the "I wish" game. I saw her on Friday night when I took dinner over to her, but I could tell she didn't recognize me - I wish I had visited with her more not knowing she would be gone the very next day. Last week I had to take Natalie to her 2-year-old checkup, and we were running late. As I was putting her in the car, this particular neighbor strolled by with her 2-year-old daughter. I said hello, and could tell she wanted to visit, but I was already running late. I wish I had taken the time to visit. The doctor would still be there, and now unfortunately my friend isn't.

I can't even begin to imagine what her husband or two-year-old must be feeling. Often I catch myself tearing up as I think about what Natalie would do if I were gone. She has a hard time when I leave just to run errands. I also can't imagine the sorrow and grief her young husband must be experiencing. My only comfort is knowing that our loving Heavenly Father loves them more than I can even imagine and wouldn't for a moment leave them comfortless. I have heard some who have experienced this intimately say that even though they were tremendously sad, they felt like they were literally in a special bubble, surrounded and protected by their Heavenly Father's love helping them cope.

Growing up, I had no idea how much ones parents are affected by their child's life. Now that I have children of my own, I see how much my heart hurts for them when they are hurting. I know that our Heavenly Father, who loves us more than we know, will never leave us alone when we are hurting, and probably hurts just as much as we do. I also know that our Savior has experienced every possible emotion we experience. My simple knowledge of this helps comfort me when I think of my young neighbor and his little daughter. I also know that our ward is a tremendous support and the family will feel all of the prayers, fasts, and love being sent their way.

This weekend I caught a glimmer of how real life is. It can end at any moment, and leaves those left in its wake playing the I wish game. This week I will start by taking simple steps and reminding myself how precious these moments are with my family - I cherished my I love you pancakes this morning as we all ate together as a family and now I'm looking forward to a nice evening of dutch oven dinner served with love.

Saying Goodbye to Reflections

I have just finished packing up all of my reflections stuff to deliver to the PTA president for next year. After four years of being the Reflections chair for our school, I felt like someone else needed the wonderful opportunity to enjoy the arts of the kids, blah, blah, blah...

The REAL reason is -

I have pulled my hair out for 4 years dealing with endless flyers to all the students at the school, copies, copies, and more copies, kick-off assemblies, angry parents who don't like the judges results, art projects coming out of the wazu throughout the house while trying to keep young children out of them, trying to convince judges to please come judge my stuff, and the list goes on and on and frankly, I'm pooped. I don't want to do it anymore, so I have no regrets handing all my stuff over!

However, I don't know what I am going to do with myself now. Literally, for the last 4 years my life has been consumed with taking care of my girls and John, Reflections, and writing for the Salt Lake Tribune. I no longer have the latter two things so I'm wondering what to do with myself now.

I encountered some stumbling blocks with the writing for magazines, so now I'm just in a slump while I figure out what to do, and sadly, I'm still mourning the loss of my fabuloso writing job and miss it terribly.

In the meantime, I have not had too much time to be bored, what with being sick during the first part of my pregnancy, dealing with Natalie's temper tantrums, and taking care of all the end of the school year stuff with my older two girls. I definitely have things to do, so that's not an issue. I just need to reinvent myself now to see what I will be doing to fill my time in the next 4 years. Probably keeping my hands full with four kids, that's what :)

I'm on a Roll

Who would have ever thunk it, but I actually patched a hole in Kimberly's bike yesterday. No cheating either with slime stuff - I used an actual patch kit.

Not Technologically Challenged

I got a new MP3 player for my birthday and have enjoyed some walks and bike rides with it listening to the radio because I hadn't yet figured out how to rip cds onto the dang thing. Yes, I had tried, but no success.

Yesterday rolled around and I had to make a cd using Windows Media Player for our primary activity on Saturday. In the process, I noticed a button that said Rip. I thought - aha! I wonder if this is how you rip cds onto the computer, then I can transfer them onto my mp3 player.

I hit the royal payday!! I did it and now I have 10 cds on my player now, with room for more. I think I'll save space for some books so I have something to listen to while I'm driving up to Portland next month.

I just had to share my exciting technological experience and tell you that I can actually figure something out on the computer without John's help. Sigh, such a nice feeling.